"You can't make him read or write, but you can make him not want to"

You may have noticed that I have been listing "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" as a book that we are reading in our house for the past few weeks. We have been borrowing it from the Taipei Public Library continuously week after week. I guess no one else out in Taipei city is as compelled to get their child to read as I am.

How's the book ? I LOVE IT !!!! It's logical. It's structured. It's numbered. It's objective. And according to the book I should have Ew reading by Dec 2010. Excellent ! Just what I needed.

Then I hit a snag - despite the dangling carrots - Thomas the Train pencil, Shinkansen eraser, Doremon 8 coloured pen - Ew HATES IT ! The only part he likes are the stories in the later chapters. Stories which he supposedly will be able to read when he reaches Chapter XX.

For weeks I was tormented. We had started off on a good note. He loved the Thomas pencil, the train note book. We progressed remarkably well through 'm', 's', 'a', 'e'. Then at Lesson 3 or 4, came the " I don't want to do lessons", the yawning, "I'm tired", "I don't like rhyming". I was patient - ah ! so very very patient. But I guess the impatience showed cause I am really not good at hiding my feelings. It shows on my face.

Did I give up ? No.

I put on my trainer hat and made it fun. I made a magic wand. I thought : We'll say the words fast when I wave the magic wand. We'll say it slow when we roll the ball/truck slow. It will be such fun!  I dropped rhyming and writing. I re-did the lessons on coloured cards (the book is black and white, minimal pictures and most unappealing). I drew pictures and use words that appeal to him like 'fire', 'fireman', 'rabbit', 'rake'. IT WAS NOT FUN ! HE STILL WANTED TO RUN !

Yesterday, we hit the lowest low. I threatened to go to the post box without him if he had not traced the 'm' and 'a's. (Yes, in hindsight I am really sorry I did that. Give me a break ! I am learning too.)

I scoured the homeschooling pages last night looking for a solution / an approach / whatever I could find. I found unschooling. I read about the natural child.

Today, I realize that the lessons we were doing is my big lesson. I am taking a year off work to be with my children. Being very achievement oriented (that's what I am - that's why I make a really good corporate employee), I want to make it 'worthwhile'. I need something to show at the end of it that said, "I gave it 101%". Sure, I learnt to cook loads of different things. I made things. I had fun with my kids. But I thought those things did not stand up to scrutiny of the public. Hmm...or is the word 'public' a cover for my egoistic self ?

I wised up today. No more lessons. From today onwards, I am going to stop scanning life for schoolish stuff. I will have fun with my kids. I will offer them opportunities to see, hear, touch, feel, move. If anyone wants to dwell further on it, we will. If not, we will move to the next thing.

And I will give myself the same opportunities.

PS - we made a windmill out of paper today :)